中英不對照2

(Mud)原來床上用品不是性玩具(meh)?!車等我重鬼咁開心(tim)!

Sorry, I am not using the handwriting tool and even if I do use it, my computer will not display Cantonese words. Like the word mud or mut, there is no such thing in Mandarin, so I cannot find it in the Traditional Chinese Character Palette, nor could I find it in the Pinyin section. As much as I would like to write in Cantonese dialogue form, I am not able to. Please excuse me on this one.

廣告

中英不對照 Chinese person English thoughts

每月的流動電話單是以短信發出,我一向烏龍,聽到電信公司的留言便跑去用ATM付清。幾曰後,收到信用咭月結單才發現流動電話費已經自動轉帳了!哎喲!我又剛剛用ATM付清了,那麼今次又「DOUBLE PAID」了!!已經不知是第幾次啦!哎!也好,心想還有$1400蚊CREDIT、 應該可以COVER到幾個月啦哇!誰知今天給電信公司一通留言嚇得半死,少了很多細胞,血壓下降!它說什麼「賬戶結餘」是港幣$1414.27!當時立刻回想我這個月打了多少IDD? 應該沒有!那為什麼會「欠」港幣$1414.27 呢!後來問人才知道這個「結餘」不是那個「結餘」!信用咭單上的「結餘」是解作你欠的還有幾多。我怎會知道「結餘」也可解作CREDIT?
我對這些你們曰常用的、規規矩矩的中文,非常混淆。好笨蛋
例如英文的CONDITIONER, FABRIC CONDITIONER 和 SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER 不是一樣的嗎?我搞了很久才知道頭髮用的CONDITIONER叫作護髮SO。還有THE COLOUR IS TOO THIN 不應是:這個顏色太薄,而應該是太稀。
我的中英不對照有時候真的笑死人!

越南話 Melbourne Vietnamese

If you have lived in Melbourne, or is living in Melbourne, you must know some Vietnamese words, the most common is Nuoc Nmam, which is Fish Sauce. Ten years earlier, non of the waiters/waitresses/owners of any of the authentic Vietnamese restaurants would speak English. If you wanted to eat there, you will have to know what you want in Vietnamese. Otherwise, everyone around you will be eating their delicious meals while you entertain them by pointing, speaking in broken English and possibly drawing more attention and laughters to yourself then a clown would. Save the embarrassments, LEARN TO ORDER in VIET is a must. So, these are some of the basics that I can still remember from my days in Melbourne:
Nuoc Nmam ﹣Fish Suace
Pho (Phở) Dai or Tái ﹣Raw Beef Noodle Soup
Pho Ga ﹣Chicken Noodle Soup
Bun Hoi
Goi Cuon ﹣Spring Rolls/ Rice paper Rolls..YUM
Kom – Rice
Tom – Shrimp, I think this is similar to Tong (Thai)

我唔單只識咧句越南話,其實重識其他無離啦更既野!因為以前住Melbourne, Australia, 一定要識少少。以前Melbourne的越南餐館的 侍應生只肯説越南話,如果你怕丟臉,不肯說,那便沒囗福了!
列如:
Nuoc Nmam ﹣魚露
Pho (Phở) Dai or Tái ﹣生牛肉粉
Pho Ga ﹣雞粉
Bun Hoi ﹣奔海
Goi Cuon ﹣藹觀

Di Du May (bad word)

小時候

小時候於70年代播出,由香港電台電視部製作,以童星為主角的電視劇。也是我最愛看的電視節目。裡面飾演小敏的「路家敏」當年也在我的學校(小學)就讀。她高我一年,要碰碰運氣的我便要早一點上學啦。因為那時我校分上、下午倆班。一年級是下午班,二年級是上午班,如此類推……
如要跟她見面,便要碰上她剛好下課而我們又未上課前那段寶貴時間。
其他小朋友在玩耍的時候、稚氣的我就只會呆呆的站那裡等待她的出現。雖然終於也遇見她,但白白放棄了跟朋友玩耍的寶貴時間!現在認為那時的我是相當愚笨的!

你識唔識/記唔記得北漏竇拉?

今夜、我特然很懷念那段80年代香港政府在收音機播放次數勁頻密的越南話廣播,可能你們會笑我無聊,但明天是公眾假期啊!有大把時間嘛!我把“北漏竇拉“放在互聯網上,{Search strings: “北漏竇拉" , “香港政府越南話廣播"} 得出以下結果!

“北漏竇拉"是1988年香港政府向越南船民播出的越南語宣傳聲帶頭四個音,講述港府對越南船民已經實施甄別政策。廣播由公營的香港電台負責播出。廣播首尾兩端以粵語說明越南語內容,由香港播音藝員鍾偉明讀出。中段的越南語由一位當時即將被遣返回越南的船民讀出的。由於該廣播的播放次數頻密,頭四個音,不少香港人都能背的越南語。

This is what it said in Vietnamese:
越南語:Bắt đầu từ nay, một chính sách mới về thuyền nhân Việt Nam đã được chấp hành tại Hồng Kông. Từ nay về sau, những thuyền nhân Việt Nam kiếm cách nhập cảnh Hồng Kông với thân phận những người di tản vì vấn đề kinh tế sẽ bị coi là những người nhập cảnh phi pháp. Là những người nhập cảnh phi pháp, họ sẽ không có chút khả năng nào để được đi định cư tại nước thứ ba, và họ sẽ bị giam cầm để chờ ngày giải về Việt Nam.

And this is the 粵語音譯: 註:越南文的“đ”是個稍微捲舌的d音。所以,「đầu」其實更像粵語的「竇」(dɐu6)的發音,稍微的捲舌音容易聽成「漏」音。同樣地,「đã」更像「打」(da2),而非「那」。以下音譯是根據越南南部方言編譯,跟北方音的主要差別在於v音譯成y音,例如「về」的發音是「夜」,「giam」是「閹」。

北竇洞拉,莫展失妹夜團人亦腩,打毒執行大含禁,墮你夜獸,擁團人亦腩檢吉入境含禁,喲吞份擁釲移吞以人地敬爹,寫鼻改喇擁兌納境非忽,喇擁兌納境非忽,何寫控哥捉卡能鬧啲定居啞碌吐吧,何寫鼻閹禁坐危曳夜亦腩。

Hahahaha ho ho halahlhahahlha 十分懷念啊!

2003年,香港受到沙士肆虐,搞笑組合軟硬天師的葛民輝便把該段廣播改成「越南政府已向香港疫民實施隔離政策」,並模仿越南語音調讀出,幽默一番。

葛民輝的SARS搞笑版本:
粵語:越南政府已經向香港市民入境限制。越南政府已經向香港疫民實施隔離政策,以下嘅一段廣東話廣播,係向企圖進入越南嘅香港疫民,講述呢個政策嘅內容:
一入就拉,疊起一堆,莫問到越南,驗疫執行大行動。唔理肥瘦,請勿進越南,遵守入境奉告,強闖者入境隨時係咁大,帶銀來入境照烹,藏匿者將公刊樣貌,發現會被控,兼大碌竹蹦,傳播者被監禁,之後照踢出越南!
以上係越南政府已經向香港嘅市民入境檢疫嘅政策。

Reference: (http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/北漏洞拉)

Man in pyjamas at my front door! 穿著睡衣來啪門的伯伯

There is an old man from the top flat of our building who comes down to “visit" us at 7:30 AM every now and then. The first time I saw him through the spy hole, I was so shocked! He was still in his pyjamas! It crossed my mind in seconds that I, myself is also not decent, in my sleeping clothes, I am not ready to “greet" anyone yet… not this early anyway. He would leave his finger on the door bell, and let in ring continuously for a few minutes. I have disabled my bell just for his sake! Now, he would bang on the door with his wrinkly fist… Ah.. on my white door! STOP! I think loud to myself, PLEASE STOP! but I wouldn’t dare say anything. I was mousely quiet behind my door, tip-toeing around.. I don’t want to be seen speaking to anyone not decently dressed. Then, a few other times, I think it’s the weekend and he felt more relaxed.. he came at my door in only his UNDERWEAR! I know this is underwear, because he’s in his boxers and I could see faintly the shadow of his peepee dangling about underneath! SOOOO GROSS!
Yes, you guessed it, I have never answered my door for him, not once! I am really thinking of putting up a sign.

一位穿睡衣的伯伯,一大清早便來我家啪門,我躲在門後,當我看見他一身微黃的睡衣、呆呆地站著,那死雞眼! 我死也不肯開門!他老人家死命按門鈴、大力拍門,鈴聲震得我頭也暗暗痛,我還是不開!過了一會,清潔掃地的哥哥、妹妹也上班啦!他還在鬧。對不起,你換好衣服再說,我無法忍受這樣的人,我不要一大清早便對著一個衣衫不淨、穿睡衣的伯伯!但每月他都來好幾次,可是沒有一次是穿好衣服的、更有一次居然只穿了內衣和短褲!我給他氣死啦!

隨便放屁 說廢話 Farting every where, any time.

Everyday, I can hear people fart, they could be anyone, old and young, both female and male. Usually I would walk past some person, and then I’d hear this loud bubbly flubbily fart, yuck! Just like a few bombs going off. So gross. How can they do this so publicly? Arn’t they embarrassed at all? Then, I’d slowly turn my head sideways to see what that person look like. To my amazment, he/she would slightly turn away from me, and protrude their ass towards the open air and let out a few more farts, before they round the whole ordeal up with a satisfying “sigh" or a triumphant “ah". What is wrong with the locals in Hong Kong now? Have I changed? I don’t remember Hong Kong being like this when I was little. Why are the locals so gross?

我每天都聽到很多人放屁,不是鬼鬼祟祟,而是大大聲聲、霹靂拍啦那種!隨時隨地,隨心所欲,痛快地放個夠。誰也不怕羞,無論是他還是她,是公公、婆婆、媽媽、伯伯、嬸嬸,不論在什麼地方,什麼場合,他們都很盡情地,出盡力把那咕臭氣咇出屁股外!懶理你死! 一於有屁盡放!
我記得小時候,這個小島好像不是這樣子的。究竟是香港變了?還是我?