Vat language are you speaking in?


Phonics is a method of teaching people to read by correlating sounds with letters or groups of letters in an alphabetic writing system.
However, I am not too sure how the majority of the HK locals are taught. I am having trouble understanding their Hongish. Most of them confuse the sound of R & L, and V with W, when Thanks becomes Fanks, and Like becomes Nike.
Their ABC is different from the ABC taught in Sesame Street. They are fine until they get to H, according to the locals it is actually Eggchhu, and L is L low, R is R low, V is We, W is Doub Bowl U, X is Eggxy, and Z is Yee Z. This is not final., there are still a whole heap of funnies to be heard.
If you pay attention… but then you might get very frustrated with them… especially when they are yelling at you with their fluet Honglish.

A friend of my mom’s speaks fluet Honglish, and this is the converstation I had with him. I’ll call him Y here, and I will be Me.
Me:"What is it that you call your nephew? I mean what’s his name?"
Y: “My nephew’s name is Currven."
Me:"I thought it’s spelt like the Curwen as in the brand Kent & Curwen."
Y:"yes, that’s the name, just like the British brand."
Me:"But you said Cur Fen, like in Stephen."
Y:"Isn’t it Kent and Curphen?, it is isn’t it?"
Me:"Nope, in that case, then how do you say W.H.A.T.?
Y:"What?"
Me:"Then how come the W in What is Wah and the W in your nephew’s name is a V?"
Y"……….errr….. but it is"
Me:"OK, well then, in your language, all the Ws should be ph, and therefore, What is your name would be Vat is your name, and Why should I would be Fy should I. You could probably be speaking in German instead of English!"
Y:"……errr…………."

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2 thoughts on “Vat language are you speaking in?

  1. This is not written by me but i thought it’s hilarious. It is how you learn Chinese in 5 minutes Read the english meanings and then OUTLOUD say the chinese words…

    (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)…

    1) Thats not right…….. Sum Ting Wong

    2) Are you harboring a fugitive………………. Hu Yu Hai Ding

    3) See me ASAP………….. Kum Hia Nao

    4) Stupid Man………………………….. Dum Fuk

    5) Small horse……………… Tai Ni Po Ni

    6) Did you go to the beach?……………….. Wai Yu So Tan

    7) I bumped in to a coffee table…………….. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

    8) I think you need a face lift…………………. Chin Tu Fat

    9) It’s very dark in here……………………… Wao So Dim

    10) I thought you were on a diet…………… Wai Yu Mun Ching

    11) This is a tow away zone………………….. No Pah King

    12) staying out of sight………………………… Lei Ying Lo

    13) He’s cleaning his automobile……………. Wa Shing Ka

    14) Your body odor is offensive……………… Yu Stin Ki Pu

    15)Great………………… Fa Kin Su Pah

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